Does your website stink so bad you have to hold your tie over your nose like a TV detective visiting the morgue?
Would your sales materials look more in context lining the interior of a catbox? Is your current marketing communications provider (assuming it's not me) making you long for the good old days when vivisection was merely frowned upon but not actually illegal? If you answered YES to any of these admittedly leading questions, you may be an excellent candidate for the MARK SILBER MARCOM EVALUATION. Basically what happens is, you gather a sample of your marketing communications materials - ads, brochures, website, PPT, whatever - you show them to me and I tell you whether, given your objectives, they're really as bad as you're afraid they might be. NOTE: Client must be sitting down when I deliver my report.
 

MARK SILBER is available for speaking engagements, marketing workshops and children's birthday parties. Ask for him by name! (Or just point in his direction during the line-up.)
NOTE: Some balloon animals may be inappropriate for small children.
 

Look! This page just goes on and on!
Often people ask, in the nicest way imaginable, What have you done for me lately? Generally, the answer is, nada. However, I have been busy, and I thought it might be enlightening to list the projects I've completed recently. Here goes:

• Advertising and copywriting for InsightU, retail sales training provider

• Brand ID and marketing plan for Martha K. Selig Institute, part of the Jewish Board

• Brand ID for Center for Living, alcohol and substance abuse recovery program

• Branding, concepts, copywriting and more for Mack Amps, amplifier manufacturer

• Business plan for biofuels start-up

• Business plan for hydroelectric start-up

• Business plan and presentation for CBS Radio

• Collateral materials for UK-based marketing and sales services company Elevate

• Concept and copywriting for Avaya’s advertorial supplements in Fortune Magazine

• Concepts and copywriting for ConnectMe, telecommunications services provider

• Concepts, copywriting and creative direction for Avenue Capital, hedge fund

• Copywriting for ADP TotalSource, employer organization

• Copywriting for Affiliate Fuel, affiliate services company (now part of Experian)

• Copywriting for Alexander Muss Institute for Israeli Education (High School in Israel)

• Copywriting for Ameriquest, former sub-prime mortgage provider

• Copywriting for Amos Media, consultancy

• Copywriting for Allen Technologies, healthcare technology provider

• Copywriting for Andrews Jewelers, jewelry retailer specializing in engagement rings and wedding bands

• Copywriting for Anna Shea Chocolates, clicks-and-mortar chocolatier

• Copywriting for BeSocial

• Copywriting for BodyTel Scientific, home diagnostics device manufacturer

• Copywriting for Capital West Partners, investment group

• Copywriting for CityStar, a national business network

• Copywriting for CREMAC, asset management firm

• Copywriting for Cristom Construction, builder and remodeler

• Copywriting for DeepMemories.com, adult toy etailer

• Copywriting for Delta Marketing Group

• Copywriting for DrCopelandSkinCare.com

• Copywriting for EmailOpen, email marketing services firm

• Copywriting for ExpatFlats, real estate website

• Copywriting for FoneFerret sales contact management software

• Copywriting for Global Warming Solutions, technology company

• Copywriting for GreenPagesFlorida, online business listings

• Copywriting for Guangzhou Global Telecom, Chinese cellular and phone card marketer

• Copywriting for HealthSource Chiropractic

• Copywriting for HealthYES!, mobile health clinic service

• Copywriting for Hidroflot, wave-based energy production technology

• Copywriting for IdentityGuard, credit protection service

• Copywriting for Infinite Massage, provider of in-office and trade show chair massage services

• Copywriting for IntelligentMarketing, auto dealership direct marketing firm

• Copywriting for JMA Architects

• Copywriting for Karp Capital, financial services

• Copywriting for My Personal Concierge

• Copywriting for Nestle's (Buitoni and Carnation Instant Breakfast brands)

• Copywriting for Nexium, "purple pill" for heartburn and acid reflux

• Copywriting for Pfizer, the world's largest research-based biomedical and pharmaceutical company

• Copywriting for Pocket Solutions, etailer of PDA accessories

• Copywriting for Powerbar, performance energy and nutrition products

• Copywriting for Quicken, personal finance software

• Copywriting for Range Online Media, search marketing firm

• Copywriting for Red Rock Pictures, film production company

• Copywriting for Resolute Capital Growth Fund

• Copywriting for SendWordNow, alerting service

• Copywriting for StylistMatch, hair stylist locator and referral service

• Copywriting for Tardus Wealth Builder, personal financial managment program

• Copywriting for Trends Construction, contracting services business

• Copywriting for Universal BioEnergy, biodiesel manufacturer

• Copywriting for Unsworth Photography

• Copywriting for Vega Star Capital, investment group

• Copywriting for Velocity Network Systems, outsourced IT services provider

• Copywriting for Water.com, office and home water delivery service

• Copywriting for Witel, mobile VOIP telco

• Corporate identity, brochures and website for EIA, network integration firm

• Corporate identity, website, collateral and tradeshow materials for Connectiva Systems, enterprise application integration company

• Corporate positioning for Yakult, Japanese food and beverage company

• Direct marketing for LS Funding, life insurance consulting firm

• Flash demo of new payroll software application from Microsoft and ADP

• Ghostwriting for IMPAQT, search marketing firm

• Marketing communications materials for Avaya’s sponsorship of the 2006 World Cup

• Marketing plan and support materials for Seaport Orthopaedics

• Marketing strategy and copywriting for Articulate, web strategy and design firm

• Marketing strategy, concepts and copywriting for Salon.com

• Marketing strategy and website for NothingButNoni, noni juice etailer

• Positioning and naming for Owl Software

• Sales video for Kastle Systems, building security company

• Web and collateral materials for Black Diamond Commercial Finance

• Web marketing concepts and copywriting for LearnSecurityOnline

• Website and corporate presentation for Encourage Marketing, viral marketing company

• Website for Weitz & Luxenberg, law firm

• Website and identity materials for Solon Group, merchant bank

• Website and identity materials for Glass & Associates, corporate turnaround management consultancy

• Website for Hain Capital Group, distressed debt investors

• Website for Small Mine Development, mining contractor

• Website, brochure, presentation and press release for WhiteRock Group, executive recruiters

• Website design, construction and copywriting for artnet

• Web strategy, design and copywriting for Paideia Events